They play so goddamn bad it's not even fuckin funny

And Grand Poker rewards the worst fucking players. Here's some fun hands from tonight. From the $10 GPP tournament. 3 left. 2nd and 3rd get $5, winner gets $10. I've been playing reasonably tight and my few showdown hands have been good.

Table 1
Seat 2 is the button+
Total number of players: 3
Seat 2: moron ( 1655 )
Seat 3: other donk ( 480 )
Seat 6: hero ( 865 )
other donk: posts small blind [15]
hero: posts big blind [30]
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to hero [88]
moron raises [105]
other donk folds
hero raises [330]
moron raises [1550]
hero calls [505]
** Dealing Flop ** [AQ3]
** Dealing Turn ** [ K♠ ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5♣ ]
moron wins 1745 from main pot with K7♣

Shoved with king fucking seven. Not the only table where my raises are met with no respect. At the same time this was going on I was playing the $50 GPP roll. Free to enter but it's a rebuy/add-on tournament. So I'm only able to fire one bullet. Play intelligently, catch some hands and double my 1500 to about 3k at the end of the 30 minute rebuy period. Then catch a hand with AJ and get up to almost 6k. Then this happens.

Table 4
Seat 1 is the button
Total number of players: 9
Seat 1: seat1 ( 6430 )
Seat 2: seat2 ( 2010 )
Seat 3: donk ( 5875 )
Seat 4: seat4 ( 4700 )
Seat 5: seat5 ( 3495 )
Seat 6: seat6 ( 5860 )
Seat 7: sportsbook idiot ( 1930 )
Seat 8: wtf ( 5840 )
Seat 9: hero ( 5750 )
seat1: posts ante [15]
seat2: posts ante [15]
donk: posts ante [15]
seat4: posts ante [15]
seat5: posts ante [15]
seat6: posts ante [15]
sportsbook idiot: posts ante [15]
wtf: posts ante [15]
hero: posts ante [15]
seat2: posts small blind [60]
donk: posts big blind [120]
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to hero [Q♥️Q♠️]
seat4 folds
seat5 calls [120]
seat6 folds
sportsbook idiot calls [120]
wtf calls [120]
hero raises [1035]
seat1 folds
seat2 folds
donk calls [915]
seat5 folds
sportsbook idiot calls [915]
wtf calls [915]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2♣️6♣️2♠️ ]
donk: bets [4825]
sportsbook idiot calls [880]
wtf calls [4790]
hero calls [4700]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3♥️ ]
** Dealing River ** [ J♥️ ]
wtf wins 7975 from main pot with two pairs, A♥️A♦️
 
So yeah I'm probably going broke on that hand anyway but still tilts me that this person can limp call with it, get 4 way action and have it still hold up. Donk shoved flop with 8♣️8♠️ and sportsbook idiot was in there all the way with J♣️T♣️. 

So I take a break with the GPP money I have $5 to play with. Unfortunately they don't spread anything lower than $.05/$.10 so I buy in for the minimum, $4. Early on I get QQ again!

Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players: 5
Seat 1: cromulent player ( $ 2.43 USD )
Seat 2: clueless ( $ 5 USD )
Seat 4: seat4 ( $ 4.55 USD )
Seat 5: maniac ( $ 12.77 USD )
Seat 6: hero ( $ 3.85 USD )
cromulent player: posts small blind [$ 0.05 USD]
seat2: posts big blind [$ 0.10 USD]
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to hero [QQ]
maniac calls [$ 0.10 USD]
hero raises [$ 0.50 USD]
cromulent player calls [$ 0.45 USD]
clueless folds
maniac calls [$ 0.40 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [2♥️A♠️9♥️]
cromulent player checks
maniac checks
hero: bets [$ 0.90 USD]
cromulent player calls [$ 0.90 USD]
maniac raises [$ 5.20 USD]
hero folds
cromulent player calls [$ 1.03 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7♠️ ]
** Dealing River ** [ 3♣️ ]
cromulent player wins $ 6.08 USD from main pot with a pair of aces [AJ]

Only 3rd hand in but should have realized c-betting in this spot was a bad idea. Maniac decided to checkraise all-in with a monster hand: K9♠. At least the other guy had me beat. It gets better.

Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players: 6
Seat 1: cromulent player ( $ 5.78 USD )
Seat 2: clueless ( $ 4.94 USD )
Seat 3: seat3 ( $ 10 USD )
Seat 4: new idiot ( $ 1.14 USD )
Seat 5: maniac ( $ 12.66 USD ) (sitting out)
Seat 6: hero ( $ 3.22 USD )
cromulent player: posts small blind [$ 0.05 USD]
seat2: posts big blind [$ 0.10 USD]
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to hero [ 9♣️7♣️ ]
new idiot calls [$ 0.10 USD]
hero calls [$ 0.10 USD]
cromulent player calls [$ 0.05 USD]
seat2 checks
** Dealing Flop ** [5♦️8♦️J♣️]
cromulent player: bets [$ 0.10 USD]
seat2 calls [$ 0.10 USD]
new idiot calls [$ 0.10 USD]
hero calls [$ 0.10 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ T♥️ ]
cromulent player checks
seat2 checks
new idiot checks
hero: bets [$ 0.80 USD]
cromulent player folds
seat2 folds
new idiot calls [$ 0.80 USD]
** Dealing River ** [ 9♦️ ]
new idiot: bets [$ 0.14 USD]
hero calls [$ 0.14 USD]
new idiot shows [4♦️7♦️] a flush, nine high
hero does not show cards [9♣️7♣️]

Another moron from the sportsbook that doesn't understand pot odds. Usually this would be a good thing but the asshat probably had money on St. Louis tonight and the site wants to give them a rebate by letting them suck out against me. Way to go buddy, you got me to call for your last $.14 on the river.

And let's just lose the rest of it:

Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players: 6
Seat 1: cromulent player ( $ 9.36 USD )
Seat 2: clueless ( $ 4.59 USD )
Seat 3: seat3 ( $ 10 USD )
Seat 4: seat4 ( $ 4.90 USD )
Seat 5: maniac ( $ 12.66 USD ) (still sitting out)
Seat 6: hero ( $ 1.97 USD )
cromulent player: posts small blind [$ 0.05 USD]
clueless: posts big blind [$ 0.10 USD]
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to hero [K♦️K♥️]
seat3 raises [$ 0.35 USD]
seat4 calls [$ 0.35 USD]
hero raises [$ 1.97 USD]
cromulent player raises [$ 9.31 USD]
clueless calls [$ 4.49 USD]
seat3 folds
seat4 folds
** Dealing Flop ** [9♠️T♦️5♠️]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3♣️ ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9♦️ ]
clueless wins $ 6.31 USD from main pot with a full house, tens full of nines T♣️T♠️

When cromulent player shoved behind me I wasn't liking it and I was right to be worried after he showed A♥️A♣️ (this site reveals the hole cards before the flop on an all-in so I didn't have to wait until the river to see what both of these players had). So just like the QQ hand in the tournament, going broke no matter what. However, this was the 1 other player at the table that was actually playing close to reasonably so he didn't deserve what happened to him either.

After the hand I typed in the chat "like tens could have ever been the best hand there".  Probably another one of their sportsbook customers that had money on the Blues.

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