Freaking idiots, God they play so bad!

So here are a few fun hands from tonight’s LOLMAHA.

Hand 1:
Sitting with 1255 after getting a bad run of cards and basically blinding off money for the first 15 minutes or so. Finally pick up A♥J♥J♦T♦ UTG 6-handed with 15/30 blinds and make it 75. Player to my direct left flats, and the genius in the CO decides to shove for 1500 total. He had late registered and just joined the table. Folded back to me and I put the rest of my stack in and the other player decides to go for the ride too. Here’s what I’m up against:

Hand
Equity
Wins
Ties
A♥J♥J♦T♦
49.12%
321,920
3,046
K♣T♥8♥5♦
23.32%
152,145
3,046
T♣9♣4♦2♦
27.56%
180,897
1,408

Flop comes 8♣7♣7♦ (great fuckin flop for my hand, right?). Turn 3♠, river 6♣ giving a straight flush to the guy who decided that T♣9♣4♦2♦ was good enough to shove over the top for his entire stack.

Hand 2:

I rebought and the very next hand picked up A♣Q♣Q♠J♠ and the other loser in the other hand decided to open-shove UTG for his last 990. Folded to me and I’ m not folding this hand, especially against a guy that decided to call off with K♣T♥8♥5♦. This time I’m up against another brilliant hand:

Hand
Equity
Wins
Ties
A♣Q♣Q♠J♠
67.28%
730,695
0
A♠7♠5♥2♦
32.72%
355,313
0

This time the flop is a better one though: K♠Q♥7♣ and after a 9♦ and a 3♣ river I hold on for the win. But it wouldn’t be much longer until I get involved in another fun hand:

Hand 3:

Just two hands later. The very next hand after hand #2 our friend decides to get in another all-in confrontation, this time with A♦8♦T♥5♠ and he loses to a player he covered by just 105 chips, so that’s what he had left going into this hand.

I get A♦A♣7♣Q♠ on the button and limp behind the CO, knowing our friend in the SB is going to shove. He does so and the genius from hand #1 also calls. CO folds and I shove. Of course he's not deterred by the shove and obliges me with a call.

Here’s what I’m up against this time:

Hand
Equity
Wins
Ties
A♦A♣7♣Q♠
38.90%
255,304
1,368
K♦7♥6♣4♣
28.34%
186,487
0
Q♥Q♦J♦J♣
32.76%
214,849
1,368

So again I’m a favorite. The SB actually had the shittiest hand and shoved with it and the BB had something reasonable this time so I can't actually blame him too much for calling here. But I get what I wanted really - the best hand against 2 opponents.

Flop: K♠J♠8♠. He hit his set, blech. Turn 3♥ and I’m drawing to 6 outs. River 8♣. For the first time in this I believe, I’m actually out before the end of the rebuy period. Stupid variance.

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